trust

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

It's a struggle. I remember many years ago, Paul (my youth group teacher) asked me how I was doing and I expressed my frustration on how hard it was to trust God - to let go and fully trust Him with my life. And I remember him kind of chuckling and replying that it doesn't get easier as you get older. Looking back, I see what he meant. Trusting God is not a one time thing. Rather, it's a conscious decision I must make every day to trust Him and submit all my ways to Him. Although I know that God is good and has the best plans for me, it's a struggle - to trust him with all my heart. There's a battle in my heart - a part of my heart seeks safety, comfort in what I know, whatever is "easier" to do. But the enemy is a liar. Although he promises safety, comfort, wealth, etc., once you obtain these things, you will be left empty, wanting more. As I surrender and submit to my God, the good good Father, I know that he will "make my paths straight." As I surrender and submit to my God, I experience the greatest joy and freedom. Although the road I am traveling on is uncertain, I trust Him. He's been so faithful to me and I know He will continue to be faithful. 

This weekend was so exciting! During youth group, we watched the movie titled Furious Love and then we went treasure hunting at Beltway Plaza. To be honest, it is usually really nerve-wracking to go up to people and ask if we can pray for them. I usually kind of check the time often and see if it's time to go back. But this Saturday it was really fun! After watching the movie, I was encouraged to go out boldly. As children of God, we also walk in the same spirit that Jesus walked with. No demon or spirit has a chance against the spirit of God. My group was Susan, Yoojin, and me. We took turns asking people if they wanted prayer and saw God move over and over again. Although we met many people, the two incidents that touched my heart was at Target (the best place to be, jk :)). As Aug asked - "where does God want us to go?" The first thought that came to my mind was "Target," but I thought it might be just because I really like Target. As soon as we walked in, we saw an older man wearing a redskins hat. One of the clues we had were "red beanie" and so, Susan stopped and tried to talk to the man. But he was holding onto another man who was holding onto another man. Then we found out that they were deaf. There were around 6-7 people and they were at Target as an outing. After we realized we didn't know how to sign, the leader pulled out his smartphone (thank God for technology!!) and we typed our conversations. We asked him if we could pray for them and he was very open. Although they couldn't hear us, we spent some time praying for each one of them and I believe they felt God's love. As I laid my hand and prayed for them, I felt God's love overflowing for them. I love how although society may say these are the least, God loves and cherishes them. The leader typed - "it was a divine encounter" and I believe it was too! We then took a picture with them and went on our way. We met a lady in an another aisle. Susan asked if she could pray for her and we found out that she was a pastor. Then she challenged us to pray for us. After Susan prayed for her, she in turn prayed for us. She prayed over Proverbs 3:5-6 us and that we would be bold as we continue with our lives - that we won't be afraid wherever we go. Whether we're at target, school, church, work, God is moving. He's pouring our His spirit upon us and as his children and disciples, we must walk with faith, truth, and confidence. 

Recently Hannah and I started a small group (mostly Hannah) with a group of college aged girls called Food for Soul in hopes that we can encourage each other to grow and walk in our faith throughout our college years. As I shared what happened at Target and shared the verse the pastor prayed over us, Hannah also shared her prayer. Earlier in the day, she prayed and asked God what verse to share with us and she believed that God told her Proverbs 3:5-6! As we discussed the verses, we discussed what it means to trust God with all our heart. I think the part that stuck out to me the most was - "lean not on your own understanding." I realized that my understanding is so limited. Although I can only see what is right in front of me, God can see way ahead. He knows my future. And it is my role to submit all my ways before Him. 

Homemade pizza! Sooo goood.

Our hope is that through our monthly meetings, we will provide an environment to openly discuss the Word of God, our struggles as college students, and eat! It stirs my heart to see God raising up young leaders. I'm so excited to see that God is raising up high school and college students after His heart. 

I love seeing people encounter the love of God. I've seen God do great things, but I believe that God is going to do even greater things in the years to come. We must ready our hearts and equip ourselves to be ready to go forth.

Also another song that's been on replay.

"You are good good ooh"

Do Not Worry

There's a new ministry on campus that's been going around asking students if they would like to join a 15 minute Bible study in the food court at Stamp. After being asked several times for a few weeks, I decided to go and was really encouraged by it! The passage that we studied was one of my favorite passage - Matthew 6:25-34. 

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Usually, I focus on Matthew 6:33 - "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" but this time, verse 32 stood out to me the most. "For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them." During the Bible study, the leader posed the question - "what does it mean to 'run after all these things'"? And the image that came to my mind was when you miss a bus. You are frantically running after the bus because you are not guaranteed that you will catch the bus. As a result, when we are "running after all these things," we do so because we have no assurance that we will get it. We can run after food, money, and clothes to have security and safety but there's no assurance that we will have security and safety. 

There's a quote that my friend shared a few months ago that I really like: "There are years that ask questions and there are years that answer." Right now, I have a lot of questions (which can easily turn into worries) but through this short 15 minute Bible study, I was reminded that yes God knows me. He knows what I need exactly when I need them. God is a good good Father. I don't need to run after food, clothes, and money. Rather, I need to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness" and I know that God will provide exactly what I need when I need it. An example is that - after my freshman year, even before I asked my parents for a car, my dad decided to purchase a new car so that I could have his old one. The beginning of sophomore year was when I began as a youth group teacher and really needed a car. God knew even before I asked that I would need a car and provided in His perfect timing! 

When I see my friends running after their education (med school), a good MCAT score, career, relationships, etc. I wonder if I should be doing the same. I don't know if you will agree with me, but there's a fear - a fear that if I seek God's kingdom and His righteousness first, I will miss things. That I will miss my chance and opportunities of going to med school, getting good grades, getting married, etc. But I was really encouraged and reminded to seek after God's kingdom and his righteousness because He will provide all these things in His perfect timing. I love this semester, but it has been pretty stressful. I usually go to school around 9:30 or 10:30 AM and end up coming home around 7 PM at the earliest. I want to do well this semester, but I came to the conclusion that I have to entrust each day wholly to Him and He will take care of the rest because God knows exactly what I need each day (which is a lot of grace every day, haha). I was really encouraged by this passage and reminded of God's sovereignty and goodness. I hope you find this encouraging as well!

On a side-note, be on the lookout for a post about community (in the near future). And I've been listening to Amanda Cook's album Brave New World nonstop. Here's one of my favorites! 

"You don't give your hearts in pieces..."

Stillness

I recently read a post by T.J. Mousetis titled "Brooke's New Voice".

I would recommend reading the entire post, but if you would rather not, here's a little excerpt (a little background: T.J.'s wife, Brooke, had a surgery and she was unable to talk for 10 days. Their daughter, June, is a couple of months old.):

"And just like Brooke has done over and over in the six year we've been married, she starts teaching me something beautiful with humble grace. Brook's voice did not determine her love for June.

And how often do I feel like God's love is gone from me when He is silent. How often do I look up quizzically (or angrily) at God and think "WHY ARE YOU SILENT? DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!?"

Brooke's love for June was unchanging by words. She loved her the same amount the day before surgery as she did on the last day of voice rest. Her ability to answer June, or speak to June, did not determine her love. You may end up in the same boat I do when I feel like God is silent - that because His words aren't loud or jumping off the pages of the Bible that His love is distant or has mysteriously vanished.

But maybe, just maybe, God is actually closer than ever at those moments. Maybe instead of speaking to you, He is calling you to just sit silently in His presence. To sit in His overwhelming, loving arms and weep about loss or tragedy. To be close to Him in a way that words sometimes just don't work to describe a love like that. I love hearing Brooke tell me that she loves me, but our love isn't solely based on her ability to speak, but yet, I so often expect or require that of God. I can't allow Him to be silent in my life, because his silence must mean the love is gone." 

Reading this post took me back to my first semester in college. During freshman year, I would walk all the way down to the Court Yards bus stop, take the 105 bus, and then walk to class from Regents. Whenever I got to school early before my communications class began at 9:30 in the ENGR building, I would sit in one of the tables right above taco bells and try to do devotions. Even though I tried and tried, I felt like I didn't hear from God. And I remember that year being so hard - hard, not because school was incredibly hard because I wanted to do things and achieve things and it felt like I was doing neither. This post reminded me back to this particular season in my life because I remember feeling that I couldn't hear from God. Although I knew God was near, I didn't feel that He was near. But rather than constantly being busy, He wanted me to be still for a moment (a moment, meaning a year). And as I sat still in his presence, He promised that He would tell me the blueprints of the years to come. And after being still during freshman year, it's been a wild ride! I don't know where you are in life right now, but I think this is a good reminder that sometimes we just have to sit still in God's presence and let Him hold us.

Messages

Yay, I finally figured out how to embed videos on blog posts again! I wanted to share a couple of messages that I listened to this week that I thought were really good. Aug sent the first two to the youth group and I highly recommend listening to them! The main point of the first two videos are to "occupy your street," which will make more sense if you listen to them.

Carl Lentz at Passion 2015 (43 min)

Carl Lentz on Dating (5 min)

Singleness, Marriage and Sex - "Singleness is a Good Thing" by Pastor Will Chung (44 min)

I came across this message while scrolling through facebook, but I thought it was really good. 
Note: the direct audience is for his youth group (middle and high school) but I thought he made really good points that are applicable to older people as well.

Hirshhorn Museum

On Saturday the youth group media team took a field trip to the Hirshhorn Museum in DC! I didn't realize how close the Hirshhorn and Air & Space Museums were to L'enfant Plaza. Usually we get off at Smithsonian and walk across the National Mall, but it's a much closer walk from L'enfant Plaza! Sadly the lights exhibition was taken down and they are now setting up an animation exhibit. From the art museums I have gone to so far, the National Portrait Gallery/American Art Museum is my favorite in DC.

I wanted to share some of the exhibits that we saw! The first half are the ones taken with my camera and the latter pictures are the ones taken with my cell phone (edited on vscocam).

Camera Pictures

photocredit: Hannah

sideview of the museum

down the escalator

"When was the last time you laughed?" Hopefully today!

Is it a bird or is it a man?

pretty lights

ACE

:)

colors

she // he // yes - actually one of my fav things I saw at the museum

it was actually tiny

South America 

the view

these kind of artwork kind of creeps me out because I think it's a real person for a split second

white space

Cell Phone Pictures

L'enfant Plaza // view up the escalator

L'enfant Plaza // on the escalator

light bulbs

light bulbs that reminded me of water molecules (H2O)

art work

a cool structure

music

worship // decisions // dwell // be humble

I learned a lot the past weekend and it helps me to consolidate what I learned by writing it out. It's not a lot of information that they can be individual blog posts, so I thought I would just write about all of them!

Worship
Worship is a response. Last Saturday Andrew taught the youth group praise team about the meaning of worship and why we worship. What is worship? We have Sunday Worship Services and time set aside for worship during retreats and conferences (which we think synonymously to praise). I'm continually learning what it means to worship, but I think the statement that really stuck with me the most is - worship is a response. When we worship God, it is a response to what He has done for us and who He is. A lot of times when I ask people why they don't sing during praise, they say "I don't feel like it." But when I think about worshiping God in this way, as a response, every time I worship God, I should be giving him my all. Because Jesus died on the cross for my sins. "I'm no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God." When you think about it this way, I am not worshiping based on my feelings and emotions, but I am responding to God. And though our emotions and feelings change ever so often, God never changes. Every time I worship, I need to look to Him, not at my own failures or even victories. As a sunflower matures, the sunflower head turns to face the sun. I want to be like a sunflower, facing the Son.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength" (Deut 6:5). When we worship, we must worship God not just with our mouths, but with all our heart and with all our soul and with all your strength. In high school, the verse that always stuck out to me the most during praise was Matthew 15:8 - "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." It is so easy to sing without thinking about the lyrics or sing and have another thought or worry in the back of your mind. But even as we set aside 15 minutes to worship on Sundays, let's give God our all.

What is amazing is that as I learn more about worshiping God, I have a deeper understanding of the trinity. Unlike other religions, as Christians, we believe that our God is three in one - God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Although they are three, they are also one. Very hard concept to grasp and understand! I believe that there are two ways we can experience this - in marriage and in worship. I'm not married, so I don't know from experience, but the Bible says - "'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate" (Mark 10:7-9). When we worship, we worship physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. When I look back, the times I experienced God's presence the most and the strongest were during times of worship. Why? I believe it's because when we worship with our all our essence, we get to experience  and see a glimpse of the trinity - how they can be three, but at the same time one. It still boggles my mind, but amazing how God created us to be!

Decisions // Living in Light of Eternity
On Saturday Aug gave a seminar on the life of Moses.

"By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. By faith he kept the Passover and the application of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel. By faith the people passed through the Red Seas as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned" (Hebrews 11:24-29).

As we look at Hebrews 11, we see that Moses made decisions in his life by faith, by faith, and by faith. Moses had an amazing relationship with God that he could just have a conversation with God. "The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend" (Exodus 33:11). How amazing is that? As my class was discussing the decisions Moses made, I was reminded of the decisions I had made to honor God. Sometimes it's easy to give up something God asks you to, but other time it takes everything to surrender and say "yes" to him. But I believe that God honors the decisions and sacrifices you make for Him. 

I know there are upcoming things that I question in my life such as - Where am I going to go to medical school? What kind of doctor do I want to be? Where am I going to live in the future? Am I even going to be in the US? Who am I going to marry? Do I have to save for retirement? And the answers for now are - I don't know. And does it all really matter? Yes and no. If I take a step back and look at the big picture, as a society, we go to school for so long to get a career. Then we have a career to save up for retirement. Then we retire and have all this free time. Then we face death. But think about this for a moment. We will be living for eternity. Did you think about it? I honestly cannot grasp what it means to live for eternity, but the decisions you make now will affect how you live for eternity. I want to spend my time here investing in people and others that will make an impact for eternity. What decisions are you making now? What are you doing with your time? How are you sowing into eternity?

Dwell

"Set me Ablaze is an ongoing prayer to stay hungry and passionate for God for as long as we live. To keep growing and searching out the things of His heart and who He is. At 18 I moved to Redding, CA by myself to attend the school of ministry at Bethel Church. I was so moved by what God was doing in that little mountain town. I was passionate to see God in a new and personal way and was willing to sacrifice a lot to pursue that. I was young, zealous and excited and I remember seeing things in times of prayer and worship that I had only dreamed of.

Many days in the ministry school pastor Bill Johnson came to speak to us. He so thoughtfully spoke with us about the things of the Kingdom, the miraculous, and his personal journey and history with the Lord. One of the classes I remember so clearly him leaving us with a challenge. He told us how happy he was to see us a class full of people of all ages and walks of life full of desire, passion, and fire for God, but then asked us to come back in 20 or 30 years and take him to coffee and tell him we are STILL burning.

One the passages of scripture that I love and have gone back to time and time again is Psalm 27. I love in verse four where David says “One thing I have asked of Lord, that I will seek after, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple.” (ESV)

King David is someone who is known for his passion, and being remembered as a man after God’s heart. I feel like this passage in Psalm 27 is one of the keys of his passion. He breaks it all down to one thing, to “dwell in the house of the Lord” to continually encounter the presence of God. I love that he says the word “dwell,” that he wants to live in the house of God. His life shows us that it’s not just a one time encounter with God that we’re after, but a lifestyle where we continually seek after and encounter the presence of God." // written by Katie Torwalt 
--
The part that stuck out to me the most was the last paragraph. "I love that he says the word “dwell,” that he wants to live in the house of God. His life shows us that it’s not just a one time encounter with God that we’re after, but a lifestyle where we continually seek after and encounter the presence of God." Yes! We are called to encounter the presence of God more and more. I have a similar story from what Katie Torwalt shared in the devotional. When I was in middle school, Pastor Tom (I believe that was his name) came and spoke to us at the winter retreat. We were so blessed that retreat, but I remember he told us something along the lines of - "Don't just tell me that you liked my messages and were blessed, but come back 6 years later and tell me 'I'm still following God.'" This really stuck with me. 

Be Humble // Stay Humble

I recently read an article by Bob Hartley and it just filled me with hope! You can read it here. I can't quite understand the full extent of what God revealed to Bob Hartley, but I'm so excited for what God's going to do this year. But to receive His gifts, we must remain humble. "He gave me a picture in the dream of Willie Wonka and the chocolate factory (I wish it was more Biblical, but I just got to tell you it happened), how a pauper got an inheritance, but there was one thing required of him, and it was to be humble...everybody was wrong and had made mistakes, but Charlie would pass the test of humility and receive God's great gift of the Kingdom."As I was asking God what this year is going to be like back in January, there were two phrases - "exciting" and "people are going to bloom." I'm not quite sure what God is going to do this year, but I believe that it's going to be exciting and people are going to be launched into doing greater things for His Kingdom! As we study the book Multiply by Francis Chan, I'm SO excited for how God's going to move this semester and in the semesters to come. Yes, it's going to be hard, but it's always worth it saying "yes" to God! Jesus, would you move. And would you move our hearts to not be just convicted, but to take action, not because we need to work for our salvation, but out of our love for you.

Sorry, it ended up being longer than I intended it to be, but this is what God has been teaching me this week! Thanks for reading. :)

we never arrive

Last semester, I came across an article titled Building a Healthy Worship Culture by Hillsong. Although it's a relatively short article, I thought these words were really powerful so I thought I would share them with you! The ten advices on how to build a healthy worship culture that were listed are the following:

1. It's all about example
2. Don't lose sight of the "why"
3. Remember it's an honor!
4. Stay in the Word
5. Pray
6. Don't do it alone
7. Empower others to carry the culture
8. Trust in God! (Not in yourself)
9. Encourage
10. We never arrive

The ones that stuck out to me were #7 and #10 (as you could probably tell from the title and photo above). Even though I read this article months ago, the words "we never arrive" resonated deeply within me. At a first glance, it seems pessimistic, negative, or even harsh. However, the more I think about it, it's true. Until we arrive in heaven in our heavenly bodies, we will always struggle with our shortcomings and weaknesses. On this earth, "we never arrive." We will never have it all together here on earth, but there is hope that we will finally "arrive" when we go to heaven. Perhaps these words touched me deeply because I have tried for so long to be perfect. But the more I tried, the more I failed. No matter how hard I try, I will never "reach" being the perfect sister, daughter, student, friend, etc. When I look at how much I have learned in photography and typography (I can't believe it's already been a year!), I am humbled and amazed by how far God has brought me. But I also see how much more that I have yet to learn. Moreover, I have learned so much biology and chemistry as an undergrad, but the more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know - how much is unknown about how the body functions and regulates (and I marvel at God's creation - how he created us with so many intricate details that work harmoniously together). For the last two and a half years, I have had glimpses here and there what it means to be a good doctor. I want to keep learning what it means to be a good doctor to eventually be one. Although it's frustrating that "we never arrive," at the same time, it's reassuring. It's not an excuse to give up or stop trying, but it's okay to be in between. It's okay to struggle. It's okay to not have it all together. It's okay that I'm not there yet. But most importantly, we never arrive in our relationships with others and with God. We must continually to set aside time and effort to love God and others. Although I easily get frustrated when all I see is my own shortcomings and weaknesses, I rest in Jesus' perfection. I have many dreams, but I lay it down before God and I rest in His grace. I will choose to rest in His sovereignty and in His perfect timing.

Also, I took the spiritual gifts test today and I thought it was interesting! If you're interested, you can take it here.