Gemstone

Currently, I'm a freshman in the Gemstone program at the University of Maryland. Part of the Honors College, Gemstone is a four year group multidisciplinary research program. Whenever you think of research, you might think of biology and engineering, but there are Gemstone teams with pretty cool non-science related projects as well. Although a four year program sounds like a long time, when you break it down, it goes by really quickly! Freshman year is spent getting to know your cohort and others in Gemstone. However by the end of freshman year, everyone is placed in a team. This semester in GEMS102, we're in the stage of choosing and being placed in teams. So, how do these teams form? In the beginning of the semester, people proposed their project ideas in the form of a project proposal. From the beginning of last semester, I knew that in order for there to be teams, people would have to propose their ideas. However, I personally didn't have any cool project ideas and was not planning on proposing a project at all. And then...I read a faculty proposed project and was interested in one particular project a week before the project proposals were due. Why didn't I get interested in a project weeks before? I don't know... Since one week was a short amount of time to propose a project, I was struggling with the decision to propose the project or not. If I chose not to propose the project, I would not have had anything major due that week. If I did choose to propose the project, I would have to do a whole literature review and find out what this project was even about. Although I felt that God wanted me to propose this project, in the beginning of the week, this seemed impossible. Within less than a week, my co-authors and I had to write the background, literature review, background, cite sources, and make a commercial. Then on Monday, I found out three people I was planning to write the project proposal backed out (with legitimate reasons). Again, I was caught in a conflict and was asking God, "Should I propose the project or should I not?" However, my one close friend from high school agreed to propose the project with me and helped me sooo much! Thank God for sending my friend. I don't know what I would have done otherwise (I probably wouldn't have proposed the project).

And then our project proposal were approved by the Gemstone heads! Around forty projects were proposed and approved in the beginning of the semester. By the end of the semester, there will only be twelve projects left. The first round of voting was last Thursday and thank God our project went through (even though I forgot to promote the project until the day before). Although I don't know if the project will go through to the end, I know that God is in control. I know that God has the best plans for my life. Even when things don't work out the way I plan it, I know it's because He has even better plans for my life. For example, I applied to be a GEMS100 Section Leader and didn't make it, but I'm going to trust God that it's the best for me. I'm still learning and struggling to trust God in different aspects of my life. However, when I do entrust my life to Him, there truly is peace and joy that passes all understanding.

Here's our facebook page for team IMPACT. (:

All Things New

I'm so thankful for the 85mm lens! I've been having a lot of fun with it and the quality is far better than any other lenses I have. Since it's difficult to shoot during the semester, I'm hoping to take a lot of pictures & spend time editing this week. Yay, spring break! (:

It has been a long, hard winter, but the officially first day of spring is this Thursday! I am so thankful for the amazing weather we had on Saturday. As I write this there's a blanket of snow covering the roads, haha.

I was listening to this song last week. I thought it was perfect timing as we're transitioning from winter to spring. My prayer for this spring is that God will "make all things new" in this new season.

This post is just going to have a lot of songs. I somehow came across this band "Unspoken" and I really like their songs!

"Run to You"

"Everything"

"Walking Away"

Sharing Burdens

On Monday, I studied John 2:1-12 with my Bible teacher. This marked the beginning of Jesus' ministry because it was the first miracle Jesus performed as He changed water into wine at the wedding. Every time I study this passage, something different really sticks out to me. Previously, the servant's attitudes and obedience to Jesus really amazed me. However, this time Jesus' mother, Mary's attitude really convicted me. Mary was simply a guest at the wedding. However, when there was no more wine at the wedding feast, Mary noticed and did something about it. She didn't have to because she was simply a guest. But she knew and believed that Jesus could do something. As a result, she came to Jesus and told him "They have no more wine." Jewish wedding celebrations were a week long and in those times, people drank wine instead of water because water the water was unclean. Therefore, having enough wine was really important at weddings. In the end, the wine that Jesus created turned out to be the best wine the guests had. Because Mary brought this problem to Jesus, the problem was solved and the guests were all blessed through it. I thought about it and wondered - "How often do I pray for someone else's troubles and problems if I don't think it really affects my life?" Recently, not that very often. However, I believe that it's important to bring other's concerns and prayers to God even though they do not immediately affect us. In this way, we can see God do amazing things and be a blessing to those around us (though they may not know it). I believe Mary's faith was increased by this event and I believe by praying for others, our faith will be increased as well.

I was also reading Exodus 18, when Moses' father-in-law, Jethro visits Moses. (I wrote a short paragraph about it a few years ago here.) Moses served as a only judge for the Israelites and worked from the morning till the evening. I find it really interesting that Jethro said, "What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people's representative before God and bring their disputes to him. Teach them his decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave" (Exodus 18:17-20). In the way that Moses wasn't supposed to do all the work by himself, I believe that we are to share our burdens with each other. In this way, we can pray for each other and really encourage each other.

Lent started last week and I haven't really decided whether I am going to give up anything for these forty days. However, I have been trying to consciously daily thank God for something in my life. Right now, I'm so thankful for this beautiful weather outside! It's finally (almost) spring. Ah, my favorite season. It's like winter has finally been defeated...

Youth Winter Retreat Reflection (Part 3)

At the retreat we had two seminars. The first seminar was held by Julia in finding our identity in Christ. Although I didn't know, while listening at the time, this seminar was such a good reminder and encouraged me these past two weeks. The second seminar was given by Abby. She shared how God was working in her life and how she was learning to serve others!

Here are my notes:

Seminar I:

• Self image
• "Who am I?"
• we think that we are so insignificant
• feeling of inadequacy (Julia talked about Moses' response when God called him to speak to the pharaoh)
• inabilities
• looking at our weaknesses make us think we can't do it
• mindset of thinking that we don't have the qualification to do the job that God has called us to do
• false humility
• we have the mindset that we don't know what we're doing
• focusing on what we can't do
• "send someone else"
• Replacing the lies
• we were meant to do great things
• we need to view ourselves sin a "vertical" dimension - seeing who we are in God's eyes, not the "horizontal" dimension of doing all we can to impress others
• "with identity comes purpose"
• "I am a child of God."
• declare truth about your identity
• ask God how He sees you.

Seminar II: 

• "serving is tending to hearts"
• we give what little we have to gain so much more
• "serving is seeing who's on God's heart and tending to them"
• love of God > love that they've been searching their whole life
• call to see people and love on them
• love people through serving
• we are able to serve when we tap into what God has in store for us

Message by Pastor Tony - Genesis 15

• "I want to know your heart..."
• What is God's heart?
• that all people would know Him
• limitless
• God has a heart for the earth itself
• everything that's messed up is a result of our sin
• God desires a restoration of all things
• Why was it remarkable that Abraham believed?
• God had not shown his miraculous power to Abraham yet at this point in Genesis 15
• Abraham's response was remarkable
• he believed & trusted the Lord and in this moment wis considered a righteous man
• How about us?
• What is the primary character of faith?
• Faith is based on what you don't know
• take a step of faith and it is called risk
• Faith requires us to take a risk.
• We don't want to take risks
• we control our lives
• We build our lives around comfort, safety, risk-free world, etc. These things have come idols for us.
• if you live your whole life like this, you don't need faith
• it's very easy to live like this but hard to follow Jesus
• Which would you rather have?
• comfort vs. faith-filled life
• life when you give it all to God is exciting
• let go of all the things you are holding onto and throw it to Jesus
• risk everything - He gave up everything for you

Youth Winter Retreat Reflection (Part 2)

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it."

Matthew 13:44-46

Often times, we interpret this parable as us looking for the treasure, finding it, and giving everything we have for this treasure. However, Pastor Tony gave us a different perspective of this parable. The field is the people of the world and God is the man who finds the treasure. God went into the world and found treasure. He found us. We are the treasure. You are the treasure. God saw tremendous value in you and he gave His Son, Jesus, in order to gain you. The difference between the parable of the hidden treasure and the pearl is that the treasure is us while the pearl is you. Pastor Tony said that Jesus would have still died for me if I was the only one who needed Him. And this is the love of our Father. It's so extravagant! It's a love that gives up everything. We have tremendous value in God's eyes and how God sees us is reality. His opinion is reality and if he deems us of worth, then we have worth.

Discipleship is following Jesus. He is absolutely worthy to follow. God will not hold back good things from us.

"Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice." - John 10:1-5

How are you going to follow God? You have to hear his voice. You build relationships through conversations. True relationship happens in dialogue. If you know the whole Bible and all the laws, but you don't have a relationship with God, you have almost nothing. Love is about a relationship and we must cultivate this relationship. You cannot force a relationship with God but as you plant a tree, water it, give it sunlight, and wait for it to grow, we can read our Bible, spend time with God everyday, and wait for Him. The relationship will work from ground up. You can't plan the way a tree is going to grow. In the same way, our relationship with God will take its course. Metaphorically, we must expose ourselves to light and water. Each and every one of us are different and we have unique ways to communicate with God. Some people hear God through art, nature, and music. While these are subjective ways to hear God, we need something objective - the Bible. We must know the word of God by reading all of scripture, not just the parts of scripture that we like. And in order to cultivate our relationship with God, there are things we need to cut out in order to hear the word of God (this is probably different for each of us).

Let's cultivate our relationship with God and cultivate attentiveness to God throughout our lives! 

...to be continued

Youth Winter Retreat Reflection (Part I)

As always, it was a blessing to attend the youth group winter retreat. This time it was a bit different being a leader instead of just an attendant. However the main focus was still all about spending time with the Lord and simply enjoying his presence.

Friday night, Pastor Tony's first message was about the God the Father. The message was based on Matthew 13:44-46, the "Parable of Hidden Treasure and the Pearl." The passage was on Matthew 13:44-46, the "Parable of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl."

Pastor Tony shared the gospel with us and taught that God is the good father. However, he did this by first portraying the false presentations of God.

God is not the

1. Absent father. People who portray God as the absent father have feelings of rejection & abandonment and naturally project this feeling to God. God feels distant & uninvolved in your life.
2. Passive father. A passive father is physically there but not very involved in your life. He doesn't engage in conversation with you. Children with passive fathers have hidden anger, difficulty in getting in touch with their emotions, and difficulty with relationship intimacy.
3. Performance oriented father. A performance oriented father has high standards that are not balanced with love. He points to your flaws and not to your strengths & successes. There is love and affirmation only when performed well. 
4. Authoritarian father. The authoritarian father is strict and lives by the rules. Obedience > relationship.
5. Abusive father. An abusive father seems very angry all the time and his children are constantly walking on egg shells. 

God is not absent, passive, performance-oriented, authoritarian, or abusive. He is the good father who unconditionally pours out love in concrete, tangible ways. He initiates a relationship with you.

Although my parents never demanded high performance from me, growing up, I always wanted to do things perfectly. However, as we all know, that's impossible. And this week, I was reminded that my worth is not determined by my performance. On Wednesday, I had organic chemistry lab and we were doing part one of the two week lab. While we were doing the experiment, I somehow pushed the watch glass and spilled all my precipitate (oh no!). Thank God we were working with solids! I scraped up what I could and continued with my experiment. At this moment I was just really reminded that my worth is not determined by my performance. I cannot base my worth in how I'm doing in school or in other aspects of life. My worth solely comes from God, my good father. And He loves me unconditionally! And he loves you unconditionally too!

...to be continued

Learning

Throughout elementary, middle, and high school, I just had to pay attention to the teacher and do all the homework in order to do well in the class. As long as I did those two (not that it was easy) I knew I was prepared for the tests. However, I learned (very early on) that that's not how college works. College has really changed the way I study and go about doing my work.

Here are the changes:

1. I barely use my agenda book anymore. If you asked me in middle school or high school, I could not have gone through the day without my agenda book. However, college isn't looking at the work that is due only tomorrow. It's about looking at what's due within the next few weeks and knowing when your next exams are. Now I just write everything on my online calendar.
2. Everything is online! This was the biggest change. I know that some schools (especially in other counties) integrate technology within the classrooms, but everything in my high school was done in paper and pen/pencil. I also turn in a lot of my writing assignment online and these mark the exact time when you turn your assignment in. Your professor can see it even if it's one minute late!
3. I began taking notes on my laptop. I think it was the hardest part to get used to; while I do need my laptop to take notes, it takes so much self-control not to go on facebook during class. Since you use your laptop all the time, I would say that choosing the right laptop for your needs is one of the most important decisions you will make for college!
4. I started studying with other people more frequently. Other people know something I don't and I know something they don't. It's really helpful to learn from others. You just have to be careful who you're getting your information from.
5. This semester I began recording lectures on my phone. It really helps to be able to listen to what my professor said again because I have a hard time following what's going on in class in the first place.
6. I try to get as much homework and work done during school. This was really difficult to get used to last semester. I was used to having a set schedule - go to school, come home and do homework, and then repeat. But I have so many gaps and come home pretty late sometimes. I'm still learning to use my time efficiently in school but thank God I can concentrate more in school than in the beginning of last semester.
7. I learned that everyone comes to classes with different backgrounds. Because I have a harder time understanding something doesn't mean I'm incapable of understanding it. It might mean that other people learned about the topic in the past and it just means that I have to work harder to understand it. 
8. It's important to know your resources and to use them. In high school I never really interacted with my teachers. However, at such a large university such as the University of Maryland, it is so beneficial to go to professor's office hours and learn personally from them. I find myself doing much better when I take the initiative to go talk to a professor or the TA.
9. Studying from old tests. This was considered cheating in high school, but it's not in college. It's so so important to know the test style of your professor. Even though you might be taking the same class with your friend, the way you study and what you study may drastically be different. Although professors change the information tested, their style will most likely be the same.
10. Befriend people in class. It's impossible to befriend 200 people, but having at least one or two friends in each class really makes a difference (at least for me). It makes the class more enjoyable. 

Although I'm finding myself adapting new ways to learn and study, I'm so thankful for the foundations I learned in high school. The study habits taught by Mr. Hendley in AP Chem in high school really helped me last semester in Organic Chemistry I when my professor didn't assign any homework. I resorted to taking lecture notes, reading the book and making outlines, and doing book problems (though I started slacking off at the end of the semester). I'm still learning from my mistakes and trying to learn effective ways to study. I find it fascinating learning how the brain stores and retains information.

How you study is also heavily dependent on your major and your coursework, but maybe the basics are similar. Well, this is all from a bio major's perspective who attends 90+ people lectures.