Worship is Life Part 2

Ah, I can't believe it's already been two weeks since the youth group winter retreat! These past two weeks I've been thinking about what I learned and trying to really reflect on it. We debriefed with the youth group today and I was so encouraged by their testimonies of how God encountered each one of them. They shared so openly and honestly. I find it difficult to share so openly in a large crowd setting because it leave you in a place of vulnerability. But that didn't stop them, and it was so encouraging!

The theme of the retreat was "Worship is Life" and the main points from Pastor Jane's messages were:

• Worship is obedience
• Worship is sacrifice
• Worship is the joy of my salvation

Throughout the winter retreat, God kept reminding me of my past. I don't remember which night it was, but I remember we were just thanking God for saving me. And I remember being so touched while thanking Jesus for choosing to love me because he didn't choose to love me when I was lovable. He chose me when I felt so lost and unloved. Let me tell you - I was not a cool 7th grader. I was so clueless of everything that I don't even remember what we did in my first year of youth group (but this is a story for another post)! Also I worried sooo much that you would wonder how a 7th grader worried so much about everything. But most importantly, while watching some of the youth group kids go up to the altar call for their salvation, God reminded me of the joy of my salvation. He reminded me of the dreams and callings He has given me that are beyond my understanding and abilities. He reminded me of my newfound faith - when I believed that God could do anything and everything. When I first believed, all I had to do was trust him. And so, God kept bringing back these memories that I hadn't thought about in years! Even after the retreat, God has been continually reminding me of my past.

I know that worrying doesn't solve anything, but before the retreat (and even now) I've been struggling with anxiousness. My dad loves to quote Matthew 6:34 - "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Even though I know this in my head, I still struggle with it. I recently realized that I don't like uncertainty and I'd rather know things in advance. However, God wants me to trust Him with each day. He wants me to lay down my day in the morning before I begin my day, trusting that his ways are higher than my ways. I'm also learning that repentance is a daily thing! As I continually struggle with sin, I need to continually lay it down before the Lord. If I don't, my heart becomes hardened and it's hard to hear God's voice. I also love Philippians 4:6 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I was really stressed before the retreat because I had two exams right after the retreat in my two hardest classes. But at the retreat, I really felt the peace of God that guarded my heart and my mind as the verse says. However, I also realized that it's so easy to lose this peace if I don't come before the Lord and continually it lay it down before Him. Even though I didn't do well on my first exam, I felt so peaceful. However, I let myself lose this peace by choosing to worry. But as I said, I'm learning that repentance is a daily thing. Also I thank God for providing a snow day that Tuesday. I was able to study for my cell biology test all day! And it turned out well!! Through this, I was just reminded of how God orchestrates the little things in my life (and how He did many many times in high school)!

During Saturday morning worship, Pastor Jane went around praying for people. As she prayed/spoke over me, she told me that God sees the sacrifices that I had made and how some of it was so painful. However, God doesn't forget the sacrifices I have made. Instead he sees and remembers them. Before she told me this, I didn't realize that I had been feeling this way. I realized that I felt like I was sacrificing so much - my time, energy, etc. But I was reminded of God's sacrifice - his son. My sacrifices pale in comparison to Jesus' ultimate sacrifice of his life. In that moment I was reminded on the hymn - "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace." Yes, when we focus our eyes on Jesus, everything else becomes dim! & when we fear God, we have nothing else to fear. Although serving the youth group takes a lot of my time and energy, it has been such a joy seeing them grow. And I can't wait to see them grow even more!