Stillness

I recently read a post by T.J. Mousetis titled "Brooke's New Voice".

I would recommend reading the entire post, but if you would rather not, here's a little excerpt (a little background: T.J.'s wife, Brooke, had a surgery and she was unable to talk for 10 days. Their daughter, June, is a couple of months old.):

"And just like Brooke has done over and over in the six year we've been married, she starts teaching me something beautiful with humble grace. Brook's voice did not determine her love for June.

And how often do I feel like God's love is gone from me when He is silent. How often do I look up quizzically (or angrily) at God and think "WHY ARE YOU SILENT? DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!?"

Brooke's love for June was unchanging by words. She loved her the same amount the day before surgery as she did on the last day of voice rest. Her ability to answer June, or speak to June, did not determine her love. You may end up in the same boat I do when I feel like God is silent - that because His words aren't loud or jumping off the pages of the Bible that His love is distant or has mysteriously vanished.

But maybe, just maybe, God is actually closer than ever at those moments. Maybe instead of speaking to you, He is calling you to just sit silently in His presence. To sit in His overwhelming, loving arms and weep about loss or tragedy. To be close to Him in a way that words sometimes just don't work to describe a love like that. I love hearing Brooke tell me that she loves me, but our love isn't solely based on her ability to speak, but yet, I so often expect or require that of God. I can't allow Him to be silent in my life, because his silence must mean the love is gone." 

Reading this post took me back to my first semester in college. During freshman year, I would walk all the way down to the Court Yards bus stop, take the 105 bus, and then walk to class from Regents. Whenever I got to school early before my communications class began at 9:30 in the ENGR building, I would sit in one of the tables right above taco bells and try to do devotions. Even though I tried and tried, I felt like I didn't hear from God. And I remember that year being so hard - hard, not because school was incredibly hard because I wanted to do things and achieve things and it felt like I was doing neither. This post reminded me back to this particular season in my life because I remember feeling that I couldn't hear from God. Although I knew God was near, I didn't feel that He was near. But rather than constantly being busy, He wanted me to be still for a moment (a moment, meaning a year). And as I sat still in his presence, He promised that He would tell me the blueprints of the years to come. And after being still during freshman year, it's been a wild ride! I don't know where you are in life right now, but I think this is a good reminder that sometimes we just have to sit still in God's presence and let Him hold us.

Messages

Yay, I finally figured out how to embed videos on blog posts again! I wanted to share a couple of messages that I listened to this week that I thought were really good. Aug sent the first two to the youth group and I highly recommend listening to them! The main point of the first two videos are to "occupy your street," which will make more sense if you listen to them.

Carl Lentz at Passion 2015 (43 min)

Carl Lentz on Dating (5 min)

Singleness, Marriage and Sex - "Singleness is a Good Thing" by Pastor Will Chung (44 min)

I came across this message while scrolling through facebook, but I thought it was really good. 
Note: the direct audience is for his youth group (middle and high school) but I thought he made really good points that are applicable to older people as well.

Hirshhorn Museum

On Saturday the youth group media team took a field trip to the Hirshhorn Museum in DC! I didn't realize how close the Hirshhorn and Air & Space Museums were to L'enfant Plaza. Usually we get off at Smithsonian and walk across the National Mall, but it's a much closer walk from L'enfant Plaza! Sadly the lights exhibition was taken down and they are now setting up an animation exhibit. From the art museums I have gone to so far, the National Portrait Gallery/American Art Museum is my favorite in DC.

I wanted to share some of the exhibits that we saw! The first half are the ones taken with my camera and the latter pictures are the ones taken with my cell phone (edited on vscocam).

Camera Pictures

photocredit: Hannah

sideview of the museum

down the escalator

"When was the last time you laughed?" Hopefully today!

Is it a bird or is it a man?

pretty lights

ACE

:)

colors

she // he // yes - actually one of my fav things I saw at the museum

it was actually tiny

South America 

the view

these kind of artwork kind of creeps me out because I think it's a real person for a split second

white space

Cell Phone Pictures

L'enfant Plaza // view up the escalator

L'enfant Plaza // on the escalator

light bulbs

light bulbs that reminded me of water molecules (H2O)

art work

a cool structure

music

worship // decisions // dwell // be humble

I learned a lot the past weekend and it helps me to consolidate what I learned by writing it out. It's not a lot of information that they can be individual blog posts, so I thought I would just write about all of them!

Worship
Worship is a response. Last Saturday Andrew taught the youth group praise team about the meaning of worship and why we worship. What is worship? We have Sunday Worship Services and time set aside for worship during retreats and conferences (which we think synonymously to praise). I'm continually learning what it means to worship, but I think the statement that really stuck with me the most is - worship is a response. When we worship God, it is a response to what He has done for us and who He is. A lot of times when I ask people why they don't sing during praise, they say "I don't feel like it." But when I think about worshiping God in this way, as a response, every time I worship God, I should be giving him my all. Because Jesus died on the cross for my sins. "I'm no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God." When you think about it this way, I am not worshiping based on my feelings and emotions, but I am responding to God. And though our emotions and feelings change ever so often, God never changes. Every time I worship, I need to look to Him, not at my own failures or even victories. As a sunflower matures, the sunflower head turns to face the sun. I want to be like a sunflower, facing the Son.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength" (Deut 6:5). When we worship, we must worship God not just with our mouths, but with all our heart and with all our soul and with all your strength. In high school, the verse that always stuck out to me the most during praise was Matthew 15:8 - "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." It is so easy to sing without thinking about the lyrics or sing and have another thought or worry in the back of your mind. But even as we set aside 15 minutes to worship on Sundays, let's give God our all.

What is amazing is that as I learn more about worshiping God, I have a deeper understanding of the trinity. Unlike other religions, as Christians, we believe that our God is three in one - God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Although they are three, they are also one. Very hard concept to grasp and understand! I believe that there are two ways we can experience this - in marriage and in worship. I'm not married, so I don't know from experience, but the Bible says - "'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate" (Mark 10:7-9). When we worship, we worship physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. When I look back, the times I experienced God's presence the most and the strongest were during times of worship. Why? I believe it's because when we worship with our all our essence, we get to experience  and see a glimpse of the trinity - how they can be three, but at the same time one. It still boggles my mind, but amazing how God created us to be!

Decisions // Living in Light of Eternity
On Saturday Aug gave a seminar on the life of Moses.

"By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. By faith he kept the Passover and the application of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel. By faith the people passed through the Red Seas as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned" (Hebrews 11:24-29).

As we look at Hebrews 11, we see that Moses made decisions in his life by faith, by faith, and by faith. Moses had an amazing relationship with God that he could just have a conversation with God. "The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend" (Exodus 33:11). How amazing is that? As my class was discussing the decisions Moses made, I was reminded of the decisions I had made to honor God. Sometimes it's easy to give up something God asks you to, but other time it takes everything to surrender and say "yes" to him. But I believe that God honors the decisions and sacrifices you make for Him. 

I know there are upcoming things that I question in my life such as - Where am I going to go to medical school? What kind of doctor do I want to be? Where am I going to live in the future? Am I even going to be in the US? Who am I going to marry? Do I have to save for retirement? And the answers for now are - I don't know. And does it all really matter? Yes and no. If I take a step back and look at the big picture, as a society, we go to school for so long to get a career. Then we have a career to save up for retirement. Then we retire and have all this free time. Then we face death. But think about this for a moment. We will be living for eternity. Did you think about it? I honestly cannot grasp what it means to live for eternity, but the decisions you make now will affect how you live for eternity. I want to spend my time here investing in people and others that will make an impact for eternity. What decisions are you making now? What are you doing with your time? How are you sowing into eternity?

Dwell

"Set me Ablaze is an ongoing prayer to stay hungry and passionate for God for as long as we live. To keep growing and searching out the things of His heart and who He is. At 18 I moved to Redding, CA by myself to attend the school of ministry at Bethel Church. I was so moved by what God was doing in that little mountain town. I was passionate to see God in a new and personal way and was willing to sacrifice a lot to pursue that. I was young, zealous and excited and I remember seeing things in times of prayer and worship that I had only dreamed of.

Many days in the ministry school pastor Bill Johnson came to speak to us. He so thoughtfully spoke with us about the things of the Kingdom, the miraculous, and his personal journey and history with the Lord. One of the classes I remember so clearly him leaving us with a challenge. He told us how happy he was to see us a class full of people of all ages and walks of life full of desire, passion, and fire for God, but then asked us to come back in 20 or 30 years and take him to coffee and tell him we are STILL burning.

One the passages of scripture that I love and have gone back to time and time again is Psalm 27. I love in verse four where David says “One thing I have asked of Lord, that I will seek after, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple.” (ESV)

King David is someone who is known for his passion, and being remembered as a man after God’s heart. I feel like this passage in Psalm 27 is one of the keys of his passion. He breaks it all down to one thing, to “dwell in the house of the Lord” to continually encounter the presence of God. I love that he says the word “dwell,” that he wants to live in the house of God. His life shows us that it’s not just a one time encounter with God that we’re after, but a lifestyle where we continually seek after and encounter the presence of God." // written by Katie Torwalt 
--
The part that stuck out to me the most was the last paragraph. "I love that he says the word “dwell,” that he wants to live in the house of God. His life shows us that it’s not just a one time encounter with God that we’re after, but a lifestyle where we continually seek after and encounter the presence of God." Yes! We are called to encounter the presence of God more and more. I have a similar story from what Katie Torwalt shared in the devotional. When I was in middle school, Pastor Tom (I believe that was his name) came and spoke to us at the winter retreat. We were so blessed that retreat, but I remember he told us something along the lines of - "Don't just tell me that you liked my messages and were blessed, but come back 6 years later and tell me 'I'm still following God.'" This really stuck with me. 

Be Humble // Stay Humble

I recently read an article by Bob Hartley and it just filled me with hope! You can read it here. I can't quite understand the full extent of what God revealed to Bob Hartley, but I'm so excited for what God's going to do this year. But to receive His gifts, we must remain humble. "He gave me a picture in the dream of Willie Wonka and the chocolate factory (I wish it was more Biblical, but I just got to tell you it happened), how a pauper got an inheritance, but there was one thing required of him, and it was to be humble...everybody was wrong and had made mistakes, but Charlie would pass the test of humility and receive God's great gift of the Kingdom."As I was asking God what this year is going to be like back in January, there were two phrases - "exciting" and "people are going to bloom." I'm not quite sure what God is going to do this year, but I believe that it's going to be exciting and people are going to be launched into doing greater things for His Kingdom! As we study the book Multiply by Francis Chan, I'm SO excited for how God's going to move this semester and in the semesters to come. Yes, it's going to be hard, but it's always worth it saying "yes" to God! Jesus, would you move. And would you move our hearts to not be just convicted, but to take action, not because we need to work for our salvation, but out of our love for you.

Sorry, it ended up being longer than I intended it to be, but this is what God has been teaching me this week! Thanks for reading. :)

we never arrive

Last semester, I came across an article titled Building a Healthy Worship Culture by Hillsong. Although it's a relatively short article, I thought these words were really powerful so I thought I would share them with you! The ten advices on how to build a healthy worship culture that were listed are the following:

1. It's all about example
2. Don't lose sight of the "why"
3. Remember it's an honor!
4. Stay in the Word
5. Pray
6. Don't do it alone
7. Empower others to carry the culture
8. Trust in God! (Not in yourself)
9. Encourage
10. We never arrive

The ones that stuck out to me were #7 and #10 (as you could probably tell from the title and photo above). Even though I read this article months ago, the words "we never arrive" resonated deeply within me. At a first glance, it seems pessimistic, negative, or even harsh. However, the more I think about it, it's true. Until we arrive in heaven in our heavenly bodies, we will always struggle with our shortcomings and weaknesses. On this earth, "we never arrive." We will never have it all together here on earth, but there is hope that we will finally "arrive" when we go to heaven. Perhaps these words touched me deeply because I have tried for so long to be perfect. But the more I tried, the more I failed. No matter how hard I try, I will never "reach" being the perfect sister, daughter, student, friend, etc. When I look at how much I have learned in photography and typography (I can't believe it's already been a year!), I am humbled and amazed by how far God has brought me. But I also see how much more that I have yet to learn. Moreover, I have learned so much biology and chemistry as an undergrad, but the more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know - how much is unknown about how the body functions and regulates (and I marvel at God's creation - how he created us with so many intricate details that work harmoniously together). For the last two and a half years, I have had glimpses here and there what it means to be a good doctor. I want to keep learning what it means to be a good doctor to eventually be one. Although it's frustrating that "we never arrive," at the same time, it's reassuring. It's not an excuse to give up or stop trying, but it's okay to be in between. It's okay to struggle. It's okay to not have it all together. It's okay that I'm not there yet. But most importantly, we never arrive in our relationships with others and with God. We must continually to set aside time and effort to love God and others. Although I easily get frustrated when all I see is my own shortcomings and weaknesses, I rest in Jesus' perfection. I have many dreams, but I lay it down before God and I rest in His grace. I will choose to rest in His sovereignty and in His perfect timing.

Also, I took the spiritual gifts test today and I thought it was interesting! If you're interested, you can take it here.