Give Generously

"Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to." - Deuteronomy 15:10

As I was flipping through my Bible, my eyes landed on this underlined verse. I thought it was a good verse, jotted it down on a post-it, and moved on. However, the verse kept coming back to me. The verse continued to convict me as I made decisions. When I first read the verse, the first thing that came to my mind was money. However, as a college student, it's not something I have a lot of. And no where in the verse does it say "give generous amounts of money." As I pondered upon the verse, I realized that although I don't have a lot of money, I do have the talents God has given me. I also have knowledge and time that I can give to others. And in this verse, God also gives us a promise. As we give generously, he promises that he will bless us in all our work and in everything we put our hand to. How amazing is that?

Honestly, it is a struggle to give generously because my instinct is to hold onto what I have - money, knowledge, etc. Sometimes it's inconvenient to help others because I have to go out of my way and give my time. However, God doesn't want me to live a life in which I just look out only for myself. He wants me to give generously to others. I believe that when you can give generously, it's a reflection that you have received much. And God has blessed me so much throughout my life! Therefore I hope that I can learn to give generously without a grudging heart, trusting God's promises that He will bless me in all my work and all that I put my hand to.

Learning to Love

I was studying Genesis 1 in Bible study and it amazed me how creative God was in creating this world. 

Then God said, 'Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.' And it was so" (Genesis 1:11). 

He created plants and animals according to their various kind. As with plants and animals, God created various kinds of people as well. Unlike the rest of creation, God created mankind in His own image and likeness. I find it amazing how God created all kinds of people instead of creating people with the same personalties, interests, and appearances.

Throughout last semester and even now, I am really learning that we were not created to be alone. Sometimes I think I can do things on my own (and I try to...), but the reality is that God created me to be part of a community. We were all created to be part of loving communities. And in these communities, we have relationships with those around us. I believe that one of the most important thing in a relationship is to be able to communicate. It's important to be able to communicate to our friends and families. For example, I love my sister, but if I never express it to her through words, actions, hugs, etc. she will never know.

...and this is where the 5 Love Languages come in.

On Saturday I picked up The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman at the church library and began reading it. I have heard of this book in the past and already knew that there were five love languages - words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. However, actually reading the book gave me a deeper understanding of the people around me as well as my relationships with them. I first heard the concept of 5 Love Languages when our whole youth group took the quiz. I remember comparing the results and being surprised how people received love in different ways.

Although the book was written for married couples, reading it opened my eyes to how people receive love differently. As I pondered on the different love languages, things started clicking in my head! It made more sense why certain things as homemade gifts meant more to my one friend than to all my other friends. It made sense why I considered it a good week last semester when I caught up with friends over lunch versus eating my lunch alone. It made sense why even though I made efforts to love certain people, they were completely unaware of it. I wasn't speaking their love language! And I realized that there is a difference in knowing that I am loved and feeling that I am loved.

Knowing that people receive love differently does not give us an excuse to not love someone. In John, Jesus commands his disciples to love one another. "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:34-35). However, it's more like a challenge to learn a "new language" because love is a choice. It's choosing to forgive, choosing to take out the trash, choosing to spend time with someone. The greatest example of love is Jesus, who laid down His life for us. I am able to love because He first loved me. Let's choose to love this year. (:

"If I speak in tongues of men or of angles, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing" (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).

--

"-If we want to have friends, we must first sow friendship.

-If we try to be a friend to everyone then we cannot be a true friend to any."

This doesn't relate to the post, but it was a good reminder.
Read the rest of the devotional, "The Power of Friendship" here!

sayings from Rebekah

"I looked through your old facebook pictures and they were really bad."

"I feel like I'm going to marry a white guy."

'Your husband has to make me homemade cookies."

"I just know stuff, okay? I know stuff."

"You're embarrassing me!"

"Save me I'm falling off a cliff."

"My stomach hurts" for every excuse.

"Your kids are going to be crazy like Paul."

My mom: "Can you practice the piano?"

Rebekah: "My stomach hurts."

Me: "Hey Rebekah, clean your room."

Rebekah: "My stomach hurts."

hahahaha we all know this is her favorite excuse

I'm so thankful God answered my prayer as a kid and gave me a sister! (:

Satisfy

"Christ is Enough" by Hillsong Live

Christ is my reward

And all of my devotion

Now there's nothing in this world

That could ever satisfy...

Christ is enough for me

Christ is enough for me

Everything I need is in You

Everything I need

I heard this song a few weeks before the fall semester ended (and it was on replay for a couple of days). My favorite part of the song is "now there's nothing in this world that could ever satisfy." This is so true! Nothing in this world can fulfill my deepest longings and needs except Jesus.

I didn't realize until after talking with Kisung and other people at the YDJ winter retreat how important having personal faith in God is. God created each one of us with a longing to be loved that no one (and nothing) in this world can fulfill. As believers, we have the privilege of having an intimate relationship with Jesus. No matter how close I am with someone, no one can fully understand and fulfill my needs and struggles, except Jesus. Although it's a struggle to read my Bible and pray at times, knowing Jesus brings me the greatest joy and delight! No wonder parents always pray that their kids may have personal faith in God! When I look back, I find myself amazed at how God cared about the smallest prayers I brought to him (and didn't even bring to him!). He didn't have to, but he answered them and strengthened my faith in Him. And at times, he did not answer my prayers for my best.

For example, for my last speech in my communications class, I was a mess. I had another presentation that Tuesday, and two exams on Wednesday, two lab reports due Thursday, and the speech on Thursday morning. I just didn't have time to prepare for the speech until Wednesday night (I probably could have found time beforehand but it was too late). I had the outline, but I had to write out the speech and create a Powerpoint. In addition, for our final speech we had to dress up in business attire. And...I looked in my closet and found nothing. So what did I do? I asked my mom for help and she told me I had to go shopping on my own. And where did I go? Beltway Plaza. Sometimes going to Marshall's is a hit or miss thing, but I know God lead me that day because within 5 minutes of entering the store I found a blazer, exactly what I needed. However I just could not find any shoes my size (it would be perfect to be a size seven). I gave up at Marshalls and went next door to Target and right away, I found pretty good black heels. Thank the Lord! I went home, wrote my speech, and tried to practice it but I was mentally drained and tired. I was praying to God that I wouldn't have to present the next day (because only a third of the class presents each day). He knows me so deeply and so well - better than I know myself. Although I really really really did not want to present Thursday morning, I felt that I was going to have to. My professor calls on people when no one volunteers, and that day he called on me. I was nervous, went under-time, and skipped a lot of information, but I'm so thankful that I went and got over with the speech. The following Tuesday we had a day off from school, which cancelled my communication class. As a result, people had to make up their speech Thursday night, which would have been really inconvenient, let alone stressful. I thank God for teaching me to trust Him even more through my communications class because giving speeches is definitely not my strong point.

Praise God! When no one could help me, he was there and helped me. (:

Winter Break

It's been winter break for quite a while and I haven't done much but I did completed one thing. 

Dun, dun, dun...I made a scarf! 

The scarf. (:

Don't these look like drum sticks? Guys, I'm learning how to play drums! Just kidding, these are knitting needles.

I swapped out a few pictures on my wall.

And tried to make a DIY cardboard frame, but it didn't end up pretty as the one in the tutorial (and this should have been expected).

But they were good for picture taking!

Goodbye 2013

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
- Philippians 3:13-14

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands."
- Psalm 138:8 (NIV 1984)

"The Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands."
- Psalm 138:8 (NIV 2011)

I've been reflecting on 2013 this past week and wow, a lot has happened. In one sense, nothing much changed, but in another sense, everything changed. I graduated high school, went to Korea this summer, and began college! All of it happened so fast. Graduating high school was exciting and really fun as I got to spend more time with my friends. Through the busyness, excitement, and fun times, I got distracted and lost my focus on seeking God. I would forget to ask Him what He wanted me to do and instead I would end up doing whatever I wanted to do. However when I went to Korea I spent so much time alone. I remember when I first arrived in Korea, I was stuck in my aunt's house only with a Bible, notebook, a book and pens because I didn't know I was going to sleep there that night. I had nothing to do that all I could do was read my book and ask God questions. As college began, I found myself spending more time alone than ever before. I wasn't used to spending so much time alone and honestly, it just felt lonely at times. My life seemed so different than majority of college students. I still lived at home, dependent of my parents while my friends seemed to make new best friends from dorming. Things were just different. It was new. It was uncomfortable. It was challenging.

I know that I am saved through the grace of God and nothing else. I know I am deeply loved by the Father. But the more I spent time alone, I started questioning myself on who I was. Am I really shy? What do I like? Am I Korean? Am I Korean American? And I realized that I had perceptions of myself that were no longer true. I realized that I changed throughout these years and it was time to let go of the past. Along with wrong perceptions, I had to let go of high school and embrace the next season in life God had in store for me. I am so thankful for all the great experiences in high school, but this is not where it ends. God still has a purpose and mission for my life. Greater things have yet to come!

Last year was difficult because I knew that God was near, but I couldn't feel his nearness as I did in the past years. Despite the discomfort, unclearness, and cluelessness, I know this was exactly where God wanted me to be. In the semester God gave me another perspective of all the alone time I had. It may have been someone's facebook status or something like that, but I there was a man who was imprisoned in prison in complete darkness without human contact for a whole year because he was a Christian. Can you imagine a whole year? I don't think I could last a week. But you know what the man said when he was released? When he was interviewed, he said he would do it again. He said the year was like a honeymoon with God. Wow. That really changed my perspective and I realized that all God wanted was for me to spend time with him. 

It reminds me of this song "All you've ever wanted was my heart."

As cliche as it may sound, last year I learned about who I am through learning about my culture and background. My Asian American studies class made me much more aware in the differences in race, class, and culture in our world today. Even just in our neighborhood, there's huge differences in race, class, and culture between PG County and Montgomery County. I didn't realize that there were so many differences! Yes, there are differences, but I believe Jesus came to this world to break all barriers. When Jesus went through Samaria to meet the Samaritan woman, he broke racial and social barriers. I believe that despite differences, we are called to love each person that God places in our lives. 

Going to Korea taught me to be more independent. I learned (still learning...) that my relationship with Jesus is just that - a relationship between Jesus and me. Yes, I need to spend time with other believers and learn from group Bible studies, but I cannot always rely and depend on that. I need to spend my alone time with Jesus by spending time reading His word. I need to guard and cherish the quiet moments spent with God. In the world's perspective, it looks so foolish. It seems like we're wasting our time and being lazy, but it's from the quiet times where our peace and strength comes from. As I lost my gaze on God last year, I didn't spend time with God as I used to. I worried over petty things like my grades even though the Bible says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (Philippians 4:6). I realized during the break that I can spend hours and hours watching movies or doing other things, but all these things can never satisfy me.  There must be something more to life than living like this. We must be made for more. There are so many distractions in this world, but really nothing in this world satisfies us but Jesus himself!

I thank God for watching over me throughout the year and being sovereign over my life even when I didn't feel it. I thank him for a good first semester and the friends he has placed in my life. I truly live fully under God's grace. My key verse for 2013 was Psalm 138:8 - "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands" and I believe that He did fulfill his purpose for my life in 2013. 

Let's pursue the presence of God in 2014!