it wasn't always like this

My cute little sister chillin' on my bed doing her homework.

:)

If you happen to stop by at our house on a weekday evening, you would most likely find my sister, not in her room, but in my room (one of the smallest rooms in the house), sitting on my bed doing her homework. Why? After all these years, I don't know why she chooses my room over hers. I ask her every time, but I guess she must like me, haha. However, I wanted to write this blog post, because it wasn't always like this. I look at our sweet relationship and I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful that God mends broken relationships and He heals. Well, I'll start from the beginning. If you know my testimony, you know that when I was little, I prayed for a younger sibling (since I was the only child at that time). My mom told me that when I lived in Canada and saw other families with a lot of children, I really wanted a sibling. God heard my prayer and knew the desires of my heart and gave me Rebekah while we were living in Korea! I still remember the week when she was born. I was SO excited and visited the hospital after school every day (sometimes even on my own at the age of seven) to see my mom and my cute baby sister. We have a really big age gap so for the first half of Rebekah's life, I was more like a mother than a sister. Well, kind of in between. I didn't take care of her well as a mother would, but I did change her diaper and fed her rice, haha. Nowadays, she's taller than me (as she reminds me often) and I think people get surprised that we are seven years old apart when we seem so close. Because my dad went back to get a RN degree during my late elementary/middle school years, I had the responsibility of babysitting my sister during elementary and middle school years. Looking back, while other kids probably went outside and played, I spent a lot of my time indoors reading books and "babysitting." To be honest, I probably was not a great baby-sitter. When I started attending youth group in seventh grade, I noticed how different my responsibilities seemed to my friends. While they had siblings 2 years older (or siblings close to their age), I had a sister 7 years younger than me. Though my parents didn't say I had to, I had this sense of responsibility that I had to be home to babysit. And for a while, it felt like a burden. Whenever I would want to go to a event or somewhere, I would have to think of my sister and make sure she had a place to go or a babysitter (in case my parents were not at home). And somehow I think this lead to resentment. Even though people told me "oh Rebekah is so cute!"I honestly could not see it at that point. Now I look back at those pictures and she was really cute (look at the picture)!

Joy + Rebekah back in the day.

In middle school and high school, while I would try to study, my sister would constantly bother me. So then I would yell at her to leave my room and leave me alone, haha. I used to complain to my dad and that would make her leave my room (in tears) but if I think about it now, she was in early elementary school and was really bored. But I'll let her tell her part of the story on her blog. So what changed? I remember going to a retreat (not sure which one, but I think it was Grace Retreat) and being SO convicted to go home and love my sister. I realized that although I did take care of my sister, I did not love her well.  I don't have one moment when everything changed, but it is definitely by God's grace and love. And it definitely takes effort on both of our parts to be considerate of each other. Although we are similar in some ways, we are soo different. Although we are both sensitive, I think she's more sensitive. Also she has more common sense than I do. :) As a result, she responds to situations differently than I do. Some of the little things that I have learned to do over the years is stop yelling at her all the time, learn to love her hugs and kisses, and to just let her be in my room. Now she just likes to just "sit in silence" on my bed, do her work, and just tell me about her day. Even though I pretend to be annoyed, I do appreciate the quality time we do get to spend together. The older I get, I thank God for giving me such an amazing sister. I see God molding her to become more and more like Him and can't wait to see where He will take her with the talents and gifts He has given her! Love ya.

I wanted to share this because I believe it's easy to see other people's good relationships and assume that they must have been lucky or blessed. But I realized over the years that though good relationships are God's blessing, it is also the fruit of a bunch of little things. Like asking someone how their day was, surprising them with a present for no reason, etc. Also I wanted to share this because though I envied my friends who had siblings close to their age, I realized what a blessing it is to have a younger sister. And now I wouldn't trade her for anyone. Yes, God is the God who mends broken relationships! I don't know how your relationships are with your siblings, but I want to encourage you to choose to love them. Because they are a gift from God and God made them specifically your siblings for a reason!