Forgiveness

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. —Colossians 3:13 (NIV) “I don’t believe that person is really sorry” and “Saying ‘I forgive you’ won’t take away the pain”—these are two reasons why people (even Christians and maybe you) are reluctant to forgive someone who has hurt them. That first excuse is validated by the fact that our society—even our Christian community—has downgraded forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a Band-Aid for a wound; that wound has to be recognized for what it is, grieved over, and owned before forgiveness can be real, freeing, and lasting. To minimize someone’s pain with a “Hey, I’m sorry, friend” and perhaps even a quick prayer—without truly acknowledging any wrongdoing and its very real consequences—is an offense in itself. You may never receive a genuine apology from the offender, but what do you gain by allowing your wound to fester? As for the second concern above, I believe we can only really forgive when we acknowledge both the truth that we are wounded and the depth of that wound. It is tempting to slough pain away and deny that we have been hurt. It can be embarrassing to be wounded: we feel weak or out of control, so we ignore it. We need to accept that we live in a world where pain is sometimes just part of the package. Once we humbly admit that we are wounded and allow ourselves to feel the pain, we can bring it to Christ for healing; only then can we begin the process of forgiveness. And, yes, it is a process. A Prayer for Today: Just and holy God, you know that we human beings don’t always treat one another kindly, respectfully, or justly, and that truth makes it tough for me to want to forgive people who have hurt me. May my fear of being hurt be overshadowed by the truth that you’ll be with me even if I am hurt again. Help me, Lord, to do what is right even though it’s hard. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I read what's above this morning and it convicted me, especially the line 'It is tempting to slough pain away and deny that we have been hurt. It can be embarrassing to be wounded: we feel weak or out of control, so we ignore it." I think whenever I do get hurt, I just want to quickly move on that I fail to deal with it. In attempts to not dwell on what happened, I don't deal with it. Then subconsciously it hinders my relationships with others.

Then I thought about Jesus on the cross. As he was dying on the cross, he said "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." In the midst of his pains, he focused not only on himself, but on others and he consciously forgave them. Jesus did not deny the pain he felt. Yet he forgave the people who were persecuting and mocking him. How great is his love that he forgave despite the physical, mental, and emotional pain he felt?

My immediate reaction to getting hurt is to go back into my imaginary shell of safety (Imagine a turtle going back into his shell). However I need to recognize that I've been hurt and forgive as Jesus did.

And I really like the lyrics to this song:

"If there's anything good, anything that's good in me,

it must be you."