serenity

I've been sick all week, but I am soo thankful I haven't been seriously sick all year until now. Even though I'm far more tired and busier than I was freshman year, I'm less sick and that's only by God's grace. When I was in school I felt so bad for the people who had to be near me because I was coughing and sneezing. Yuck. Friday and Saturday was the worst part, but hopefully I'll feel better from now on because I don't feel that bad today. (: I feel like whenever I'm sick, God wants me to just be still and rest because I just don't like sitting still. I always feel like I have to be doing something no matter what it is, but when I'm sick, I can't do that. When I'm sick I try to do everything I do when I'm not sick, but I just get worse. Even though I highly dislike being sick, through it all, God teaches me to just rest in him. So after youth service today, I came home and just slept for two hours. I felt sooo much better when I woke up.

What stuck out the most from today's message for me was the analogy of going into deeper waters. There's just so many things coming up right now that I can't do everything. I can spend hours worrying about all the things that are going to come up -- SATs (in two weeks), tests, AP tests, essays, etc, but that's not going do anything. I can try my best to balance everything, but I know that will just fail, because I can't handle everything. I want to be in deeper waters, but being there in reality is actually really scary. I can't reach the bottom even if I try to tippy-toe. All I can do is just waddle and completely trust God, and that's what I need to do right now. Completely trust God. It's really hard, but that's the best. There are things I need to constantly remind myself so I won't forget. There are things the enemy wants me to believe, but I need to keep repeating God's truth over and over so I will remember the truth. I don't want to forget all the things God has done in my life. If God has never left me, why would he leave me now? God can do anything. I have to believe in Him.

I need to claim that life full of joy. I do not need to be afraid when I ask God because I'm not asking as a stranger, but as a daughter. "Ask and it shall be given to you." Jesus, I ask that you may be with me throughout everything. I ask continually for your joy, that my life will be filled with your joy. Would you motivate me continually and I thank you so much for encouraging me when I need it. You are just always so good to me. Jesus, I want to just hand everything to you. Everyday, I need to trust you completely.

God is teaching me about faith. (:

"He replied, 'Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here and to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.'" Matthew 17:20

Wisdom -- can only be found in Jesus. Whenever I need answers, I try looking for them on my own. I start depending on other people for answers and help, but that's not where I need look for answers. I need to ask Jesus. I need to seek Him with my whole heart. He will give me knowledge, understanding, wisdom because He has the power to do so, not any other person. He always provides knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. (:

The first time I deactivated my facebook was hard, but this time, it was much easier. I feel like it makes me more aware of my surroundings...when I'm not on facebook. I read more news and I notice other things. It's like my mind is quiet, serene, tranquil.

idea credit: my sister (she told me I had to put this if I was going to upload these, ahahha)